


a song that you forgot you knew

by Lina (lookslikelove)



Category: Pan Am
Genre: F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-12-21
Updated: 2011-12-21
Packaged: 2017-10-27 17:39:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,362
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/298357
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lookslikelove/pseuds/Lina
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There is a song that has been running through her mind for days.</p>
            </blockquote>





	a song that you forgot you knew

**Author's Note:**

  * For [marketchippie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/marketchippie/gifts).



There’s a song that has been running through her mind for days.

It is a song from her childhood or at least she thinks it is. The familiar melody swirls through her mind wrapping around her like a soft blanket, bringing her comfort that she didn’t know that she needed. Colette finds herself humming it as she gets ready in the morning, half-mouthing the words around the pins that she holds in her mouth. The words might not actually be the right ones at all, simply the ones that she is filling in to go along with the melody. It is a song that sweeps, that flows along and seems to lift the listener up.

“What’s that?” Dean asks her one day leaning against the doorframe of her bathroom. His question startles her, her elbow bumping against the tiny shelf next to the sink sending bottles scattering.

Laughing as she rights them, gently shaking her head as she glances at him. “You shouldn’t sneak up on a girl like that.” Her voice is gentle as she scolds, stepping back in front of the mirror and picking her lipstick up. “But what is what?”

Now it is his turn to laugh as he steps behind her, hands on her waist as he kisses her neck. “The song that you keep humming. I don’t recognize it, but I know that it’s now stuck in my head.”

Her forehead wrinkles slightly in determination as she applies her lipstick. She has to get ready, not about to be late for her pre-departure check in. A small smile graces her face, both enigmatic and brilliant as she closes the lipstick and returns it to her bag. “Is it? But I don’t know what it is. Something I heard once. Somewhere.”

With an easy shrug of her shoulders she zips close her tiny case, turning around and placing a kiss on his cheek. It is a careless thing to do given that she just finished applying the lipstick that she leaves smudged on his cheek. Reaching up she starts to rub it away just as he kisses her full on the mouth. Her hand falls, resting on his shoulder as she gives into the kiss. The song seems to get louder, swelling as her heart beats a little faster leaving her a touch light-headed. It makes her thinking of dancing, reminds her of that night in Paris, dancing cheek to cheek. But this is better, bathed in morning light and nothing at all like a dream.

It is getting late. She doesn’t need a watch to tell her that. With a sigh she breaks the kiss, reaching up to finish wiping away the lipstick, smiling at the disappointment on his face.

“I’m sorry, Captain, but we have a flight to catch,” Colette teases as she steps away, sliding out of his arms, wagging a finger slightly as she picks up her make-up case. Dean runs a hand through his hair, making it stand on end as he smiles. She takes another step towards the door as she finishes her thought. “And you have to get ready.”

“Fine, fine, but next time you and I are going to finish this,” he tells her as she pulls the door shut behind her. She leans against the door, still smiling as she listens to the water of the shower starting. Colette has always been cautious in these sorts of adventures, taken measured steps to just the right amount of distance from those she cares about. To protect her heart just a little bit more.

The moment passes and she steps away returning to the task of getting ready. The clock on the wall confirms what she already knew setting a deadline that is a half-hour later if she pushes it to the brink.

Her apartment is tiny and nothing to write home about, but it suits her needs. The décor can be described as interesting at best, chaotic at worst. It is a mix of things that she has picked up along the way, a few things that remind her of that places that she could describe as home. What is missing are certain personal touches, any sign that this place is more than just a place to land. If asked (which no one does) Colette would smile slightly, breezily shake her head and make excuses. There is no need for her to explain that she doesn’t have many photographs and mementos of such things. That the images of her parents exist almost exclusively in her head.

As she makes her way to her bedroom she absently tidies up the mess that was made the night before. There had been a slight urgency, a franticness that had led to a lamp being knocked over during a particularly passionate kiss. She had told him to leave it and they had, retreating to her bedroom and leaving the small mess on the other side of the door. Thinking back she can’t explain the rush that they were in, having spent the evening and part of the afternoon together. In the end she doesn’t even bother with trying to understand it at all, but rather appreciates it for what it is.

With order somewhat restored, she walks into her bedroom picking up her case that always is ready to go at a moment’s notice. Collette doesn’t know about the other girls, but one of her rituals whenever she returns home is to prepare herself to leave again. It is both a means of ensuring she can enjoy every moment of freedom and a safety net, an old habit that she can’t bring herself to break.

Slipping into her shoes then her coat before carefully pinning her hat to her head, she studies herself in the mirror. There is nothing in her appearance that gives away that she is anything other than Pan Am stewardess. She wonders if the others can see what she is hiding, if Kate notices but doesn’t say anything. If Laura and Maggie have talked about it, but have held their tongues. She doesn’t think so, knowing that if they really suspected something they would have asked her.

She shouldn’t worry that Bridget could come sweeping back in their lives. That there is a third person in the relationship she shares with Dean, one that is still very much there despite both Dean’s statements and Bridget’s absence. The worry she has is mixed with guilt; the feeling that she has taken something that doesn’t belong to her. That she has betrayed a friend and what is worse that she doesn’t want this to end. The moment that she let Dean into her apartment she knew that this couldn’t end as easily as it started. It was far too late for that.

Catching herself frowning, she shakes her head, taking a deep breath before smiling. She is a confident and assured woman, her doubts are her own but they don’t control her. Nothing can weigh her down; ground her unless she lets it.

With a final inspection she steps out of her room walking past the bathroom just as Dean opens the door, a towel wrapped around his waist. He whistles, long and low and she laughs, stepping out of his reach.

“I will see you in a little while, mon cher.” She blows him a kiss as she walks to the door, stopping to turn back to look at him before she opens it. He has stepped out into the room, smiling as he watches her.

“The plane can’t take off without its captain,” he points out and she laughs, shrugging as she opens the door.

“I wouldn’t be so sure of that. I could always give it a try, now that I know how.”

He laughs, nodding in agreement as she steps into the hall and closes the door. The song in her head grows louder once more and she hums it as she walks down the stairs and out the door.

It has playing in her mind for days and now she thinks she knows what it is for. It is a song for them and it is perfect.

**Author's Note:**

> I understand that this might not be EXACTLY what you asked for and this story has changed shapes several times before being what it is today. I hope you like it anyways. Have a festive and wonderful holiday season.


End file.
